I’m a fan of snarkiness. I identify with the Urban Dictionary’s definition of a snarkoleptic, “One whose snarkiness regularly manifests itself so naturally and fluidly that snarky comments could be delivered even from the depths of beta sleep.” That is so me. But I am a firm believer that there is a difference between being snarky and being rude. Case in point. While shopping my local Home Depot this weekend for packing tape, I asked no fewer than 4 employees where I might find such an exotic item. Most looked annoyed that I had interrupted whatever delicate thought they had grasped onto during their laborious task of stocking shelves but one guy, taking items out of a shopping cart, didn’t even lift his head to acknowledge my presence. He answered my, “excuse me sir”, with a sharp, “I can hear you”. As if to say, “WTF do you want?”.
After finding the tape on my own, 20 minutes later, I overheard a conversation a teen age boy was having with his mother. This philosophic wisdom was so profound, I ended up wandering the aisles of HD meditating on it for an hour and half. This is what he said, “People should be allowed 4 passes a year to just slap the shit out of somebody”. Bam! It hit me like a 2×4. Not literally, but what an awesome concept. We should, as a society, be given 4 opportunities to smack people who treat us poorly for no reason. I actually think this would be deter assholes. Although, I don’t condone violence (usually), I do think people only unlearn a bad habit if what they’re doing causes them pain; either mental, emotional or physical. Think about it, if you knew that your sarcastic comment might earn you a hard smack, you might give that comment a second thought.
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Someone once said to me that he thought that here in NYC “you should be allowed to kill one person a day.” Sometimes I do not disagree.
This is probably the most awesome thing I have read in a long time.
Thanks! So far I still have all 4 of my ‘slap’ passes, but with the holiday season quickly approaching, I’m sure I’ll get rid of mine pretty quickly. Thanks for stopping by!
I especially like the book cover saying .. people I like to punch in the face
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